How Does the Serpent Sing?
by damsel in distress1
Summary: What if the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams had to put on a play? This story explores that question. The play is based on Aida and will eventually be MarcusKatie
1. The Punishment

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me nor does the story of "Aida". I am not making money off of this, for if I was, I'd be sued.....  
  
A/N: I had to change up the prefect system for this story. Instead of just prefects and Head Boy/Girl, I've made head prefects of the houses. And now....  
  
How Does the Serpent Sing?  
  
*****  
  
"I have had entirely enough of this childish behavior from all of you!" Professor McGonagall scolded the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch team.  
  
"Well, Professor," Marcus Flint, the Slytherin Captain started, "It really was the Weasleys fault. If they weren't so prat-like we - "  
  
"Mr. Flint!" Professor McGonagall interrupted, "Do NOT insult my team members in front of me."  
  
"Fine," Flint said, folding his arms across his chest. For a few moments there was silence, than Charles Warrington, a Slytherin chaser, broke the silence by saying, "Erm, Professor, I believe you were in the process of punishing us more severely than your beloved Gryffindor team."  
  
"Mr. Warrington! Do not accuse me of favoritism when it comes to punishment. I have an equally embarrassing punishment for both of you," McGonagall responded curtly, "It is not usually our custom, but I am resorting to a Muggle punishment."  
  
"Muggle?" a female voice asked from the door, "You're seriously going to make the Slytherin team partake in a Muggle punishment?"  
  
"Ah, Ms. Locke, the voice of wisdom of the Slytherin house," Professor McGonagall responded with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, "Why are you here?"  
  
"Well, my duties do entail overseeing ALL aspects of Slytherin house, which includes the Quidditch team and their punishments. In short, I'm here representing Professor Snape," Locke replied taking a seat next to Flint.  
  
"Representing? You are only a prefect, you can't know what Professor Snape wants," said McGonagall eyeing her suspiciously.  
  
"Correction, Head Prefect of Slytherin, and Professor Snape told me, in full detail, what he does and does not want. So, if you would be so kind as to continue with your EQUAL punishment of the teams, that would be most satisfactory, seeing as I have other duties to attend to," Locke replied, crossing her legs and placing her hands on top. Flint scoffed at her remarks and she shot him a death glance.  
  
"Very well, as I was saying, before the Head Prefect of Slytherin interrupted me," Professor McGonagall said as she shot Locke a hostile glance, "you're punishment is to stage a play."  
  
"A what?" Warrington asked.  
  
"A play, a musical," McGonagall responded.  
  
"A musical?" Ivan Bole, a Slytherin beater, asked? "It's a thing that muggles go to that involves singing and dancing," Harry interjected.  
  
"Singing?" asked Warrington.  
  
"Dancing?" asked Bole.  
  
"Who's going to do it?" asked Locke. Both teams looked at her as if she was sprouting three heads right before their eyes.  
  
"Excellent question, Ms. Locke. I have decided it is to be a romance, changed around a bit to fit our needs, and our two starring roles will be Mr. Flint and Ms. Bell," Professor McGonagall replied with a smirk.  
  
"Flint? Singing?" Rexius Montague, another Slytherin chaser, sniggered, "That's as likely as him shagging Wood."  
  
"Well, if he doesn't, I can assure you a much more...undesirable punishment will be found," Professor McGonagall said, "Now, Ms. Locke, what does the voice of Snape say?"  
  
"Let me attempt to reach the inner Snape," Locke said as she closed her eyes and started softly humming.  
  
"The 'Inner Snape'?" Flint asked as Locke waved her hand to shut him up.  
  
"The Inner Snape says it's a ridiculous idea and won't accomplish anything and that you really need to get back on the punishment band wagon. Two words: toilet scrub with nothing but toothbrush," Locke said after a few seconds of thinking.  
  
"Excellent, Ms. Locke, you can be our second female lead," Professor McGonagall said happily. Locke sat there with a confused look on her face. "Second female lead?" Locke asked.  
  
"Oh, yes, I have all the parts here, we will be using your actual names because it's a lot easier that way:  
  
Helena Locke - the second head of Slytherin house Marcus Flint - the Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team Katie Bell - a Gryffindor chaser Charles Warrington - Marcus' faithful companion and friend to Katie Rexius Montague - Marcus' evil father William Derrick - Head of Slytherin Alicia Spinnet - a Gryffindor chaser Oliver Wood - the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.  
  
All of your parts should be fairly familiar to you. Now, please exit my office and be in the Great Hall promptly after classes." Professor McGonagall said, and added as a side note, "All of you."  
  
The teams left dumbfounded and wondered what insane things they would have to do as punishment. 


	2. Raoul

Thanks for the lovely reviews everyone. Now for Chapter 2...I had a lot of it typed...but the computer stopped being nice and I don't know what happened to it...anyway...  
  
***** Chapter 2 *****  
  
"What did she mean by....a romance?" Katie Bell, a Gryffindor chaser, asked the rest of the team as they left Professor McGonagall's office.  
  
"I think it means, you have to kiss Flint!" Angelina Johnson, another Gryffindor chaser, replied.  
  
"Ew! No!" Katie exclaimed, disgusted, "If she wanted to promote team unity...she should put Wood in a dress and a wig and call him a girl."  
  
"Why is everyone finding the idea of me and Flint shagging so amusing today?" Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor captain and keeper, asked his team, "I'd appreciate everyone keeping their disgusting fantasies inside their heads, of course not during that extra hour of practice I'm adding to tomorrow."  
  
"Another hour!" George Weasley, a Gryffindor beater, exclaimed.  
  
"Why another hour?" Fred Weasley, another Gryffindor beater, asked.  
  
"Aren't we good enough, Wood?" Alicia Spinnet, the third Gryffindor chaser asked.  
  
"Yes, we are good enough to let the Quidditch Cup slip right through our fingers.... again!" Wood said as he entered his classroom.  
  
"I find his lack of faith...disturbing. We've got the best Quidditch team Hogwarts has seen in years," Fred said.  
  
"Yes, well, he has a point. If we're so good, Gryffindor should have won the Cup the past...eight years," Katie said in Wood's defense.  
  
"Well, that's hardly our fault. Great, we just missed the class," Angelina said as the three chasers and two beaters turned around.  
  
"Ah, don't look so down Harry, you'll star in a show one day too," George said as he walked away. Harry stared after them and the started laughing to himself. The thought of all of these wizards trying to put on a Muggle play was almost too funny to contain his laughter.  
  
*****  
  
"Well, where is she?" Marcus Flint asked as he sat in the Great Hall after classes.  
  
"She'll be here, Flint, probably along with Snape," Helena Locke said, shining her prefect badge.  
  
"Honestly, woman, you've been shining that badge since Potions," Charles Warrington said, "It's making me nervous."  
  
"Nervous? Me shining a badge makes you nervous?" Helena asked.  
  
"Hell yes. Most things you do scare me." Warrington replied.  
  
"Well, the Gryffindorks have arrived. Oh joy," Ivan Bole said.  
  
"Wow, promoting team unity already," Locke said to the team as she watched the Gryffindors take seats on the opposite end of the hall. A few moments later Professor McGonagall and Snape entered the room. Snape shot the Slytherins an evil look as if to say, 'I can't believe you agreed to this'. Professor McGonagall stepped to the front of the hall and began to tell the students about the play.  
  
"I don't feel I need to go into detail because you will all be receiving a script....now," Professor McGonagall said as 15 owls swooped in and dropped scripts in front of each of the students, "Now, if you will all be kind enough to read over the scripts, that would be much appreciated." The students began to skim through play when the doors to the Great Hall burst open to reveal a man.  
  
"Hello," the man said, "I am Raoul." The two teams looked up at the man who was dressed in black leather pants and a black shirt. As if to match the rest of him, his hair was also black and spiked. "I am here to turn you all from stupid athletes to beautiful, graceful, and stunning singers and dancers."  
  
All the teams could do was stare in awe and wonder. 


	3. Surveying

Well, this little story slipped right out of my mind...and then when I checked my e-mail and found a review...it slipped right back in. Alas, it is difficult to pick up the pieces when you've left it hanging for a while, so I will try my best to continue.

Chapter 3

"Well, students, as you have heard, this is Raoul. Raoul will be directing you in this production. Professor Snape and I will now leave you to it," McGonagall said as she left the Great Hall with Snape, still simmering, close behind.

"So, this is what I'm given to work with?" Raoul said surveying the various members of the team, "I've seen better."

"Excuse me, sir?" Helena said, signaling to Raoul, "Hi, I'm Helena Locke, Head Prefect of - "

"Silence!" Raoul thundered.

"Silence, yes, silence is good," Helena said stepping away with her hands up, as if to surrender.

"Now, let us have a look at this cast," Raoul said, summoning a cast list from the air, "Hmm...Marcus Flint?" Marcus stood up and sauntered over to the middle of the Great Hall where Raoul was standing.

"Hmm...turn around," Raoul said to Marcus, as he made mental notes, "Yes, nice build...good calves. Could you smile for me, Marcus?" Marcus smiled to reveal a lovely set of crooked, chipped and discolored teeth.

"Oh my giddy aunt!" exclaimed Raoul, "You kiss your mother with that mouth!"

"Uh, yes, my mother as well as many others of the female kind," Flint said with a wink towards the Gryffindor chasers, earning some whooping from the Slytherin side.

"Well, I suppose there's nothing we can do about it now, we must take you naturally since Dumbledore told me I can't change you physically...only mentally," Raoul said, with a sigh, "He kept bringing up that incident in which I gave everyone a Polyjuice Potion so they all looked like me...as if the world wouldn't want to. Right, well...can you take off your shirt for me?"

"Now wait just a minute!" Helena said sternly, "There will be no removal of clothing under my watch, that is somehow against the rules."

"Shut it, Locke," Flint said grabbing the bottom edges of his sweater and pulling it over his head to reveal a cut figure complete with a six pack.

"Why, I never..." Helena said, scoffing at Flint's disrespect for rules.

"Well, if your teeth looked like the rest of your body, we'd have a hot man in the show," Raoul said, giving Flint a once over, "Lucky for me, I mean, the ladies, you aren't wearing a shirt for much of this show. Therefore, we're going to try method acting with you, Flint. You should get used to walking around without a shirt."

"Wow, d'you think Wood's got a body like that?" Angelina whispered to Katie.

"I'd doubt it. I've heard Slytherin Quidditch players have the best bodies in the school," Katie replied.

"I'm sure it's not all because of Quidditch," Alicia said, laughing.

"Why, Ms. Spinnet, was that implying that Slytherin Quidditch players do....other things to keep them fit?" Katie said, pretending to be shocked.

"Well, I'm just applying something I read in CosmoWitch, about the amount of calories a certain something burns per hour. A certain something those quidditch boys are notorious for loving," Alicia said.

"Well, it's good to see you reading something of use," Angelina said jokingly.

"Hmm..don't move, Marcus. Let's see...opposite you is, uh, Katie Bell!" Raoul shouted towards the Gryffindor side. Katie walked up and stood a body's length away from the still shirtless Flint.

"Now, now, don't be shy. You and Marcus will have to stand much closer than that during the actual show," Raoul said, gesturing Katie stand next to Marcus.

"Yes, but do we have to start now," Katie said, disdainfully looking at Flint.

"Yes, Bell, no time like the present, right?" Marcus said, giving her a flirty look.

"Well, now...you two make a cute couple," Raoul said aloud, and followed it by muttering, "If only those damn teeth were fixed. Let's see, oh joy, Helena Locke!"

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated, Raoul," Helena said, with an almost disgusted look on her face.

"Not appreciated for now, but you'll be happy for it later on down the line," Raoul said, walking around her, doing his usual surveying.

"You know, Raoul, I"ve got real issues with this script," Helena said, pointing accusingly at Raoul, "You do realize that it's totally unrealisitic. First off, a relationship between Katie and Marcus? Out of the question. Secondly, Marcus's father has no control over what happens here at Hogwarts, this includes who is on or off the quidditch teams. Oh, yes, and another issue: oh, no! Please, don't make me choose between Quidditch and true love! Ah! What a tough choice! Honestly, no one's ever died because they crossed house lines."

"Well, Ms. Locke, your 'issues' have been taken into consideration," Raoul said, "Firstly, this is theatre, it doesn't need be realistic. Secondly, this is theatre, Marcus's father now has control over all happenings at Hogwarts. Thirdly, this is theatre, it's supposed to be dramatic, people are now going to die because they cross house lines."

"Very well, I see the answer to all my questions is 'this is theatre'," Helena said, mocking Raoul. Raoul nodded and began to call up the rest of the cast and surveying them individually.

"Well, I feel there is much potential in this cast," Raoul said, smiling, "I've never directed a horrible show and I'm not about to start now, so I want you all to go to wherever you go, and read over the script and get a good feel for your character. We begin rehearsing, tomorrow!"


	4. Remix

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. Keep them coming, I love hearing what people think, good or bad. Now, after a small delay, Chapter 4:

"This script is so awful I cannot stand to read it," Helena said, sighing.

"Shut up and deal with it," Flint said, intently reading, "You act as if you're the only one who doesn't want to do it."

"Oh, stop trying to fool everyone, Flinty-poo, as if you wouldn't give an arm and a leg to be with Katie," Helena said, scoffing. Flint stared at her hard. If she had been one of his mates he would've pummeled her to the ground, but he'd been taught not to hit girls. As if the Katie comment wasn't infuriating enough, she had called him "Flinty-poo". That nickname had been around almost as long as he had been friends with Helena, which is quite a while. Helena and Marcus went back a long time since their fathers were friends in their Hogwarts days. From the minute Helena was born, both the Flints and the Lockes had rejoiced because they now had two children to continue the bloodline, and it eliminated searching for a suitable bride. Helena was brought up to be perfect lady and trophy wife. Marcus was brought up to be a real man. They learned to take each other, and their relationship, for granted.

"Helena, what are you talking about? I wouldn't want to get near Wood's territory," Flint said, brushing her comment off.

"Ha! That would be even more incentive for you to go after dear Katie, if they were even together still," Helena said, "Apparently you didn't hear about their break-up over the holidays. Considering it was all over the school, I don't see how it didn't trickle down to your ears." Flint looked dumbfounded. This play may not be such a bad thing after all. Witches are supposed to like, that muggle thing, musicians. So maybe if Flint did a good job, he could woo Katie Bell.

"Okay, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go attempt to re-write this script," Helena said heading to the dormitory.

The next day both teams walked into the Great Hall promptly after classes ended.

"Ugh, I can't believe how much Quidditch time we have to miss," Wood complained, "Instead of this, we could be practicing, getting better."

"Well, maybe you should've scheduled practices before school, life Flint did," Angelina said.

"Right, because none of you would complain about that," Wood said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, guys," Helena said, walking over with a pile of scripts, "I rewrote the script to make a little more sense. Hope you guys don't mind saying the name of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." The Gryffindor team stared at her as if she was sprouting another head out of her shoulder.

"Well, that would defeat the purpose of that long title, now wouldn't it," Fred Weasley said sarcastically.

"Well, I hope you weren't being so blatantly disrespectful and sarcastic towards me, Mr. Weasley. Wait, you were? Oh, well, 10 points from Gryffindor!" Helena said, gleefully, as she turned and went to the Slytherin side.

"What a bitch," George said, staring after her.

"Well, look who she's forced to hang around with," Wood said gesturing to that side, "The Man-Troll Flint, the man-whore Pucey, and the rest of that motley crew."

"Point taken," George said. As both teams were getting settled and glancing at the new script, Raoul burst in, clearly annoyed.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Raoul exclaimed, holding up a script. "Why did I receive this revised script in the owl post today?"

"Well, you received it because I sent it, via owl, to you," Helena said.

"Thank you, Ms. Locke, I'm well aware of how mail gets from one place to another. My real question is, why is it changed?"

"I told you that the script didn't make sense," Helena said, shrugging her shoulders innocently, "so I took the liberty of changing it. And everyone loves the revised version right?" Helena said, whipping her head around and giving a glare that could've rivaled Snape on a bad day.

"That's all fine and well," Raoul said, "but honestly, Death Eaters? Voldemort-" Upon saying Voldemorts name, there was an audible gasp around the Great Hall.

"Oh, Merlin," Helena said, rolling her eyes, "Suck it up! Saying a bloody name isn't going to kill you!"

"You don't know that!" George shouted.

"The only thing in this room that will kill you, Weasley, is me, if you don't shut up now!" Helena screamed. George shut up, and stayed that way for a while.

"Well, Helena, don't you think that this whole 'issue' is a little sensitive for Hogwarts," Raoul said, gesturing to the script, "I mean, especially with Harry around."

"Well, look, Harry Potter's around, we won't be hurt now!" Helena said, with more sarcasm. Sarcasm was becoming her second language.

"Fine, well, new parts for everyone!" Raoul shouted gleefully, "Let's see, Marcus is now a Death Eater, Helena is now He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named's successor. Well, that's interesting. Katie, you are working for the side of good. Warrington is still a faithful companion to Katie, working as a Death Eater. Wood, you're Katie's dad, an auror. Montague, you're Marcus' dad, a high-ranking Death Eater. Angelina, you're a fellow auror who is Katie's best friend. Everyone else, you're prisoners of war in the Death Eater camp."

"See, now that makes more sense," Helena said, smiling."

"Yes, we'll see. Everyone, go home, or wherever it is you go, read through the 'revised' script, and get in touch with your characters," Raoul said, flipping through the pages of the script, "And please, no one rewrite it. We begin tomorrow!"


	5. Bestial Beings

Chapter 5

The two teams filed out of the Great Hall, some studying their scripts while others planned what pages to sketch Quidditch plays on. Oliver had already found a prime candidate to sketch his first play on and he immediately began working on it while he walked to the common room. The three chasers were all turning to the more romantic scenes to see what Katie and Marcus would have to do.

"Oh! Look, Katie! You're his prisoner at the beginning. And then you become his slave!" Angelina exclaimed.

"I'm sure he'll absolutely love that part," Alicia said.

"Yes, I'm sure he will. He is like that, domineering and all," Katie said, reading the script. "The script isn't actually that bad, from what I've read. It seems like there's a pretty interesting plot line."

"I always love those stories about the star-crossed lovers," Angelina said dreamily, "I hope whoever I fall in love with would die for me. What else could a girl possibly want? If your man won't die for you, then what?"

"It is the ultimate declaration of love," Katie said. A few steps ahead, the Weasley twins were sneaking up on Oliver.

"BOO!" Fred yelled.

"Oi! Weasley! What was that for?" Wood said, hiding his developing play.

"So, what do you think of this script, hmm. About Flint caressing your lovely little Katie?" George said, devilishly.

"Well, she isn't 'my Katie' anymore, and it is only 'acting'. It's not like they're going to run off and have 18 little Flint children running about, pulling hair, beating up keepers, having bad teeth, and other things characteristic of the great, Slytherin beast," Oliver said.

"A bit bitter, are we?" George said.

"But what if they do run off and have 18 little Flint children," Fred said, worried, "Wouldn't you feel awful that you didn't stop it? Wouldn't that be the worst feeling in the world? Wouldn't you rather DIE than see that happen? After all, giving your life for the woman you love is, apparently, the ultimate declaration of love."

"Okay, Fred, let me tell you something," Wood said, "Katie and I aren't together. I don't love her. And, furthermore, if she decided to go and run off with Flint and have 18 little Flint children I would not begrudge her that, for it would be her choice. And I can't change the punishment, sorry, good try though."

"Begrude?" George said, "We're naught but humble Quidditch players, Ollie, and that is quite a large word."

"Meh," Oliver said shrugghing, "That's what happens when you share a dorm with Percy." The boys all laughed at that comment and they continued to joke around while the Slytherin team discussed their plot to dominate the field.

"Well, it's like this, mates" Warrington said, "We have such an advantage over those Gryffin-losers, because we've got the pitch before classes and they don't have it at all."

"Gryffin-losers?" Bole skeptically asked.

"How do you figure that?" Pucey said, "We'll be so tired in the morning and we won't be practicing to our normal standards. And, I've heard, you play like you practice. So, if we practice badly, we play badly."

"Well, we have to practice sometime, and I want a consistent time," Flint said with a finality to his voice, "So, either suck it up or pack it up and get off the team. We're all in this 'musical' together since SOMEONE couldn't find a more appropriate punishment, so we all practice in the morning."

"If that 'someone' was in reference to me, Marcus," Helena said, looking over the top of her glasses, "then your tone was not appreciated. Actually, you should be groveling at my feet and thanking me."

"What?" the team exclaimed together.

"Oh, yes," Helena said, "thanking me. Because, if it wasn't for me, this play would be absolute crap."

"Are you kidding?" Flint asked, "This is possibly the worst punishment she could have given us."

"How about a suspension of 3 months from Quidditch?" Helena asked, "Would that have been worse? Because that's what you would have gotten if it wasn't for me. So, you're welcome, Marcus."

"What? How? Why?" Flint said dumbfounded.

"Yeah, you must be lying because McGonagall wouldn't suspend her own team for three months," Pucey said.

"I'm not lying. It would've been entirely in her power to suspend only you guys for a set amount of time because you were, in fact, the wrong-doers."

"It's Quidditch! It's not like we went up behind the weasel in the hallway and pummeled him," Warrington exclaimed.

"Please inform me when Quidditch became a brutish sport that allowed chasers from the other team to SLAM the keeper into the goal post?" Helena said.

"Oh, come on, he's still alive. And that wasn't even Weasley!" Adrian said.

"You weren't being punished, as severely, for that, idiots!" Helena said, "You nearly killed Wood! Do you REALLY think that McGonagall, for one second, would not have seen this whole team suspended indefinitely or expelled from the school."

"What can I say, Quidditch is a brutal sport," Flint said, "Besides, the pros do it all the time."

"Do they really?" Helena said, "Well, that gives me even more reason to question the fanaticism that follows this, how shall I say it, bestial sport."

"What? Are you kidding?" Flint said, "We are not animals."

"Really, I couldn't tell," Helena said, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have reading to do in the library. And, I believe that you should all be reading that script."

Helena turned and left the boys. Half were fuming and the other half were dumbfounded.

"Okay, did that seem a little too Gryffindor-preachy-ish to you?" Montague asked.

"She is such a liar!" Pucey said, "She draws Quidditch plays all over her notebook in History of Magic, and, when she thinks I'm not looking, she draws Wood's name in hearts. She loves Quidditch and everything about it, especially the players."

"Really?" Flint asked, "She fancies Wood, eh?"

"Uh, yeah," Pucey said.

"That's interesting because he hates her," Montague said.

"Oh, really, how do you know?" Flint said.

"I heard him agreeing with prefect Weasley about how she is such an annoying little bitch with a stick constantly shoved up her ass," Montague said.

"That's too colorful for Weasley," Warrington said, "But he really hates her?"

"That bastard," Bole said, "How could he hate her?"

"Because she's a Slytherin," Flint said.

"Wait, I'm so confused," Pucey said.

"What else is new?" Montague asked.

"I thought we hated Helena just a second ago."

"Yeah, well, now that we know Wood does, we must do the opposite," Flint said, "it keeps the natural balance."

"Right, got it," Pucey said, "But, what if I agree with Wood?"

"Well, if it is regarding my future wife," Flint said, with a mischievous gleam in his eye, "then you would be wise to change your opinion."

"Flint, your big words are kind of crazy," Pucey said.

"Meh," Flint said, "That's what happens when you get tutored by Helena"

Well, I hope people are still reading this. This chapter was a bit longer than my normal ones, and hopefully that's a continuing trend. I'll try and write a lot this week since I don't have any classes. So, enjoy! And thank you for the past reviews as well!


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